Insomnia

My lovely doctor called this morning and I told her about this weekend, how I woke up at 11:30 on Saturday night with my heartbeat so slow that I couldn't move my body and I was swirling in and out of consciousness. Low calcium, I told her, it's gotta be. I've been feeling numbness and tingling in my hands and feet all week. The last time I had hypotension like that was right after my thyroidectomy and I had to be put on a calcium drip for four days to get my levels up.

She mentioned that my thyroid levels were pretty good, TSH is at a 0.39 or something, which is still pretty hyper, but my thyroglobulin antibodies look nice and low. Oh, I think I can post a screenshot of my results; the power of technology!



She wants me to do thyrogen shots soon and most likely another WBS. Blech.

I'm still feeling off. Napped for two hours today so of course it's nearly midnight and I can't sleep. Hands and feet are quite numb. Heart seems okay.

Medicine: 100mg Synthroid, 7.5mcg Cytomel, calcium, iron, vitamin D.

So that explains so much

My doctor's office called this morning. Today is my doctor's day off but one of the nurses wanted to give me a heads up on the results of Monday's lab work. Let me try to explain this...

A person with a normal healthy thyroid should have a TSH or thyroid stimulating hormone level of 0.5 - 5.0. Anything over a 5 would mean that the person is hypothyroid, meaning having an underactive thyroid gland.

A person with a history of papillary thyroid carcinoma should have a lower level--from 0.1 - 2.5--of TSH to keep thyroid tissue growth down so the leftover cancer cells are not tempted to spread.

And my TSH levels as of Monday were at 15.34! Three times the healthy level for a normal thyroid. This means that I am extremely hypothyroid--or lacking in thyroid hormone.

So that looks a little like this:

I'm severely hypothyroid, which would explain my constant exhaustion. There are a ton of symptoms for hypothyroidism--here are 300 of those symptoms--but my biggest is fatigue.

I'm glad to know the reason why I've been feeling just so awful as of late, my body has felt as if it was dying. But it all makes sense now, I'm starving for thyroid hormone. Hopefully when the doctor calls tomorrow he'll know how much extra medicine I will need to lower these abnormal values.

In the meantime, it's a great day to snuggle on the couch with the kids. We bought Frozen on Amazon Prime and are on our second viewing. There is nothing more healing than cuddling two sweet little ones in my arms for hours.

Joy and Sorrow

Katie learned how to clap! As impressing as clapping is for a baby, I'm more excited that she is starting to understand us. She recognizes the word "clap" and sometimes says "Aaaaaaaaaay" after I gleefully exclaim, "Yay, Katie!"



Dylan didn't get to go to school again today because of this damn flu bug he's still fighting. His fever is down to a 99.5 but now he's got a ridiculous cough. He needed another rest day to fully shake this thing. Kate is still hanging on with no fever and a clear runny nose.

In good news, I saw my endocrinologist yesterday to figure out why my legs have stopped working this month and we determined that since my thyroglobulin are still at < 0.2 my cancer is most likely not spreading.  I like to hear that.

As far as my month of weakness, the doc isn't sure.  He tested my levels again and said that some people do great on a 0.03, some don't.  My levels should be 0.1 to 2 as a cancer patient because the higher my TSH the more likely the cancer cells will grow, so low is good.  However, 0.03 might be too low for my body.

Whatever the case I still very much like my doctor and I feel confident that he will take good care of me.  I like that he is thorough.  Two thyroid panels in two weeks.  My kind of doctor.  In the meantime I'm staying on my 150mcg of synthroid and taking it easy.  I feel better this week than I did the last two and I think maybe I'm on the up and up.  Let's see what my levels are in a few days and maybe we can find a happy thyroid balance.

*

Today is the twelfth anniversary of September 11. Those of us who are old enough to remember will never forget where we were that day as we watched those planes fly into the towers. I was working in the music library in college when another student came in and told us about the first plane. All of my classes were cancelled, except for choir. It was our first day of concert choir rehearsal and our esteemed conductor walked into that practice room with a cell phone in hand. He was waiting to hear from his daughter who worked in the trade centers. He handed us an 80-paged copy of Mozart's Requiem and told us that we were going to perform this that weekend.




That whole week is a blur to me now. The concerts we performed around the state to show our support and respect are a vague memory. But whenever I hear Mozart's Requiem I am brought back to that place, watching those towers fall and feeling in my soul the aftermath of so much suffering.

I have some good news

Today the receptionist from my new endocrinologist's office called me with my lab results.

"Your TSH is at a 0.10, which is good for you."
"Yes, I am feeling well on my current dose."
"And you have no Thyroglobulin, so that's great! It means there is no thyroid left."
"Wait, so does that mean I no longer have cancer?"
"You still have cancer, but your thyroid tumor is completely gone. It'll take a few months for the radiation to kill off all of your cancer cells."
"I don't quite understand. So what is my next step?"
"As long as you are feeling well and don't need your meds adjusted, we will see you in a year."

A whole year.

I'm not in remission yet, but I'd say I'm in recovery. I'm recovering. And now I get to live life as if nothing happened. At least for the next year.

So glad.