So that explains so much

My doctor's office called this morning. Today is my doctor's day off but one of the nurses wanted to give me a heads up on the results of Monday's lab work. Let me try to explain this...

A person with a normal healthy thyroid should have a TSH or thyroid stimulating hormone level of 0.5 - 5.0. Anything over a 5 would mean that the person is hypothyroid, meaning having an underactive thyroid gland.

A person with a history of papillary thyroid carcinoma should have a lower level--from 0.1 - 2.5--of TSH to keep thyroid tissue growth down so the leftover cancer cells are not tempted to spread.

And my TSH levels as of Monday were at 15.34! Three times the healthy level for a normal thyroid. This means that I am extremely hypothyroid--or lacking in thyroid hormone.

So that looks a little like this:

I'm severely hypothyroid, which would explain my constant exhaustion. There are a ton of symptoms for hypothyroidism--here are 300 of those symptoms--but my biggest is fatigue.

I'm glad to know the reason why I've been feeling just so awful as of late, my body has felt as if it was dying. But it all makes sense now, I'm starving for thyroid hormone. Hopefully when the doctor calls tomorrow he'll know how much extra medicine I will need to lower these abnormal values.

In the meantime, it's a great day to snuggle on the couch with the kids. We bought Frozen on Amazon Prime and are on our second viewing. There is nothing more healing than cuddling two sweet little ones in my arms for hours.

And on his farm he had a pig thyroid...

I saw my endocrinologist this afternoon. My symptoms are getting worse and I'm getting desperate for someone to help me feel like myself again. Usually I don't put much faith in these appointments, each time I go it is the same: My legs don't work. I'm exhausted. Please fix me. counteracted with the doctor's Let's take some thyroid panels. Change your dose of Synthroid. Come back in two months. I can't expect my doctor to heal me in one visit, but there has been no improvement over the last year.

I explained to my doctor that I can barely stand up without needing to rest these days, that I feel as if my body is running a marathon even when I'm lying down, that the muscle fatigue is getting so bad that I have to pull up a chair to the stove when I make macaroni and cheese because I can't stand long enough without assistance. My mind is cloudy and I'm forgetting basic things like where a stamp goes on an envelope or my zip code. And what did I do yesterday? I've got no idea. I can't remember simple short-term details. Did I take my meds three minutes ago? I have to check which day of the week is empty in my pill case. My legs are covered in bruises, my skin is sandpaper dry, I'm freezing. I'm so nauseated that I'm taking medicine to make me not throw up, I'm so anxious that I'm taking more medicine to soothe my nerves, and I've got no desire to eat. My emotions are all over the place and I'm crying at the drop of a hat, filled with anger instantly, and sad that I'm stuck on the couch for seven hours or more a day. But the worst of it is the fatigue. I just can't move.

I dragged myself to the appointment. I typed up my list of medicine and symptoms and waited for the doctor to say Let's change your dose and I'll see you in two months. But he didn't. He looked back in my charts and noticed the pattern: fatigue, inability to walk, brain fog. He said that I'm exhibiting both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism symptoms and he has no idea why. While filling out an evaluation, he listed my condition as severe. I cried. I'm exhausted.

So we decided to take a different route. Instead of taking man-made synthetic hormone pills I will be switching to natural desiccated thyroid tomorrow morning. It is the grossest concept to me--crushed up pig and cow hormone--but at this point I will do anything to feel better. Anything.

Here's an awesome article about Armour and its history.

So I'm not going to give up hope. I will get better. I will get through the next few months of tests and body scans and low iodine diets and pig thyroid. Frankly I don't have much of a choice. But I'd rather look on the bright side of this than wallow in the reality that today I was a gray-faced, 102-pound mess, crying my eyes out, begging for someone to make me better.

And how could I be sad with my husband here at home to make me smile? At dinner he said, "Do you realize how excited I'll be if my Love starts smelling like bacon!?!"

Synthroid 150 and depression

Before I kicked my endocrinologist to the curb last week he upped my dosage of thyroid medicine from 125mcg to 150mcg. My TSH was at a 3 and ideal TSH to keep the cancer from growing is 0.1.  But I'm not sure how well I'm handling my new dose.

I feel very up and down today.  So sad and angry one minute and happy as a lark the next.  Tonight I'm mentally deciding that I don't feel like changing my attitude.  My mood is like a five year old child who wants something and decides to stomp her feet and bitch and whine until she gets her way.  

I'm in a funk that I cannot shake but at least I don't feel physically incapable of moving my body like I did last week. 

Today's sadness will hopefully be cured by a good night's sleep and I'll start fresh tomorrow.  

Thyroid cancer, you win tonight. 

Back on the horse

I just took my first Synthroid medicine (125mcg) since being forced into withdrawal on April 14. I am so thankful to be taking thyroid meds again. This could take 4-6 weeks before I start to feel its effects but I am hopeful that after this experience I never have to experience hypothyroidism again.

Under 100!

I had to make a list of the medications I take to bring with me when I go into labor and am happy to report that I now take 14 medicines and supplements a day, just 98 pills per week, down from about 120! And my blood work came back pretty good yesterday: my PTH (parathyroid) is low but that's expected to improve as I heal, and my calcium is at 8.5--which is a bit low but still good! I'm gonna rock your boat, cancer.